Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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