Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Terrible idea I love it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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