i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
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I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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