Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom

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  (586): Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom http://tfl.nu/p7m9
  Replies (4) Good night (1466) Bad night (510)
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  (718): View more from New York

  OMG. Drunk.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.

  (718): View more from New York

  Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.

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  (718): OMG. Drunk. (662): I'm so glad you fill me in on these things. (718): Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter. http://tfl.nu/my1k
  Replies (8) Good night (1178) Bad night (607)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
  Replies (111) Good night (46687) Bad night (2742)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...

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  (610): I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library... http://tfl.nu/atq4
  Replies (34) Good night (4383) Bad night (1383)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?

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  (815): He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for? http://tfl.nu/k6v7
  Replies (16) Good night (1155) Bad night (3788)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.

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  (907): You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink. http://tfl.nu/mebb
  Replies (29) Good night (4383) Bad night (1092)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

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  (410): She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her. http://tfl.nu/tg03
  Replies (97) Good night (4392) Bad night (9881)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow

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  (407): Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow http://tfl.nu/4rys
  Replies (5) Good night (3553) Bad night (868)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Green mimosas i think yes

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  (502): Green mimosas i think yes http://tfl.nu/w98u
  Replies (4) Good night (1538) Bad night (956)
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  (550): View more from

  I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

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  (550): I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas http://tfl.nu/h91s
  Replies (1) Good night (1368) Bad night (570)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.

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  (540): I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex. http://tfl.nu/djdz
  Replies (5) Good night (1435) Bad night (701)
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  (716): View more from New York

  She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever

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  (716): She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever http://tfl.nu/gnyf
  Replies (8) Good night (1533) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.

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  (540): The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness. http://tfl.nu/p6k2
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do

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  (608): Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do http://tfl.nu/pe9f
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know

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  (519): He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them (1-519): Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know http://tfl.nu/74uk
  Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (188)

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