Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back

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  (732): the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back http://tfl.nu/90ja
  Replies (3) Good night (1867) Bad night (722)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.

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  (403): you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/4rjg
  Replies (14) Good night (3753) Bad night (732)
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  (707): View more from California

  Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

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  (707): Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo. http://tfl.nu/dtd1
  Replies (22) Good night (1349) Bad night (5468)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (3264)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

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  (412): Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me. http://tfl.nu/z6ig
  Replies (20) Good night (9858) Bad night (1879)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.

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  (212): Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no. http://tfl.nu/7lbb
  Replies (10) Good night (2617) Bad night (924)
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  (949): View more from California

  how did we start talking about space blow jobs?

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  (949): how did we start talking about space blow jobs? http://tfl.nu/0fha
  Replies (14) Good night (1712) Bad night (557)
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  (331): View more from Illinois

  DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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  (331): DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME http://tfl.nu/8t0w
  Replies (7) Good night (2816) Bad night (642)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.

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  (970): I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed. http://tfl.nu/hmgx
  Replies (10) Good night (591) Bad night (1550)
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  (510): View more from California

  Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.

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  (510): Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious. http://tfl.nu/ftps
  Replies (3) Good night (1499) Bad night (528)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow

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  (207): Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow http://tfl.nu/s6a2
  Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (462)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.

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  (720): I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped. http://tfl.nu/6z5g
  Replies (4) Good night (326) Bad night (758)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.

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  (208): When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all. http://tfl.nu/wlj1
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (279)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?

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  (318): What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church? http://tfl.nu/g4ep
  Replies (9) Good night (1068) Bad night (268)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed

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  (515): Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed http://tfl.nu/4vqk
  Replies (2) Good night (219) Bad night (599)

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