real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize