Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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