woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
