Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
