Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
