Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
