went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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