Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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