Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
