Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
