at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
