Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
