weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
