Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
