I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize