i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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