seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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