What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
