i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
