I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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