GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
two words: eviction party
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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