how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
