I just threw up on my dentist
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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