We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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