How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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