I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
