This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize