The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
