so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
