My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
