your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
