absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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