I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
