stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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