so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You took a bar mat shot.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
