That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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