and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
