Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
