Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
