Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
