my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
