Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.