So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?