im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner