would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
