I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
this just has baby written all over it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.