im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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