She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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