Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i barfeds in our rink
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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