Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
