Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
