ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
