You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
