He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
