so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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