Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
