I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
