you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
