she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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